Yes, I am a girl. And yes, I did NoFap for 90 days. You read it right. Let me guess what you are thinking, do girls masturbate?! Yup, girls also masturbate, even though majority of them won’t acknowledged it. I know, it is not very lady like to talk about. However sharing my experience will surely help more people than not.
Why did I do the NoFap challenge?
I spend a lot of time on YouTube. Especially in the year 2016 I could categorize myself as a YouTube addict. The instant novelty was real. With each click I found new videos, new people and new topics. I came across so many videos.
By ascending into the deep rabbit whole that YouTube can be, I came across titles with the word NoFap in them. Majority of the thumbnails insinuated something with guys turning into super saiyans. As a anime lover it intrigued me, but not enough for me to click on them.
A YouTuber I used to watch talked about NoFap sometimes. I watched him explain in his words what NoFap was and how he disliked it. From his point of view “wanking off” was very normal. Still it didn’t make me think negatively about NoFap. I hardly knew anything about it, I had no experience with it myself and I didn’t knew anyone in my direct circle who had experience with it.
In the back of my head I always thought that pornography could have negative influences on the people watching it. I knew that it portrait a distorted view on sex. So I found it quite cool that there were guys abstaining from it. Yet it still wasn’t enough for me to look further into it.
Why would I? I didn’t think I had any problems related to masturbation or porn.
Then somewhere at the beginning of 2017 a dear friend of mine told me she was going to do the 90 day NoFap challenge. I was surprised. With my minimal knowledge about NoFap and even though she was a girl, I encouraged her.
One day we chatted about NoFap via WhatsApp. I decided to start the NoFap challenge on the same day that she did. I didn’t think it would be any different from other challenges. It was the beginning of the new year anyways. So I made it a part of my new years resolution.
She advised me to download an app called HabitBull. With that application I started tracking the days of not masturbating, not having orgasms and not watching porn.
Just to make it clear, even after I started NoFap I had not seen any videos about NoFap. I had read no articles and I had not seen any other website related to the topic. I didn’t knew about the possible benefits or cons. I was just like John Snow, I knew nothing.
Also an important thing to note is that I didn’t consider myself addicted to masturbation or porn. I didn’t do it every single day. It wasn’t a part of my daily routine. Masturbation and porn were more of a way to escape, to instantly feel pleasure when feeling low.
So I began the NoFap challenge
On January the first I started tracking the days of which I went without fapping(=a slang for masturbating, actually referring to males) and watching porn. Cold turkey.
I didn’t think much of it. I didn’t see some deeper meaning behind doing this. I didn’t educate myself about any science related stuff or any possible benefits. I just plainly wanted to see how many days I could go without.
I am a person who is very open and loves to try out new things. You will rarely find me bash something, especially if I know nothing about it. I love experiencing things for myself and creating my own true opinion. NoFap seemed perfect for that. A new experience.
My First Two weeks on NoFap
In the second week of NoFap I got a huge burst of energy. An insane amount of motivation arose. Each morning I woke up excited to start my day. I literally jumped out of bed with a big smile on my face coming from this inner joy I felt within me.
I felt different. I felt caffeinated without the jitters or other nasty side effects. As if my brain, body and chemistry were positively changing. I became so grateful for just existing in this world and experiencing life. The fact that I was living blew my mind.
I also started cold showers, I reduced my gluten intake and I began a Bullet Journal. Other than that not much changed in my life.
My productivity increased by the day. I started reading more. I went back to the gym again. I got more creative with writing, photography, filming and video editing. I got back into studying the Japanese language, which I had lost motivation for. I also started drawing again, what I loved doing as a kid.
What was happening to me?! How could not masturbating and watching porn have anything to do with me feelings so darn amazing and productive?!
I typed “NoFap” into the YouTube search bar to learn more. Jane Michaels was the only other girl, next to Yana Banana, who was sharing her NoFap experience. I also watched inspiring videos from Mikkois, Elisha Long and Ted Carr. They mentioned the benefits they gained from not masturbating and not looking at porn. They mentioned moments of pure bliss, but also moments of deep darkness. The struggles they had to go through were very real.
I was fascinated. I listened and understood.
I found more anecdotal evidences of people explaining how abstaining from masturbation and watching porn positively impacted their lives. I resonated with many, because I was going through much of the same.
I came across this amazing website with a bunch of studies backing up the possibility of how abstaining from porn and masturbation can help improve your mental state and other bodily functions. The amount of information was incredible.
My first two weeks went fairly easy. The first urge I got was in the end of my second week. My mind got stuck thinking about erotic things. I saved myself from a relapse by distracting myself. I redirected my energy towards concentrating on writing a blog post. I managed to write a whole post in a couple of hours, which would have sometimes cost me a couple of days. I was baffled by these new super powers.
Two months into NoFap
I created a higher base line of happiness. Things that would once have brought me down, did not effect me anymore. Instead of masturbating my energy away I learnt how to circulate it through my body and tap into it when I needed to.
I realized that the only thing masturbating would give was nothing more than a split moment of bliss. A wonderful, easy to obtain feeling. Yet a feeling that fades away so quick. Without leaving behind any long lasting benefits or rewards.
When I purposely used my sexual energy to create YouTube videos, work out or socialize with people I got so much more valuable back. My views and subscriber count grew, I was improving my fitness and I build stronger connections with people. All long lasting rewards, which are more important to me.
New habits like cold showers, meditating, keeping a journal, intermittent fasting and daily movement became a part of my life. It was as if NoFap created time and space and helped me stick to the healthy habits I wanted.
I also began eating a lot healthier. I already been Vegan two years before I took on the NoFap challenge. Which helped improve my health and state of mind a lot. However, being Vegan does not equal health. I took my health up a notch by cutting out gluten, refined sugars and lots of junk foods. I wanted to eat more raw, living foods. I wanted to put the right building blocks into my mouth and not give in to what my mind craved.
Not a single day went by without expressing gratitude for all of this, which in turn made me feel even better. It was like I had fallen into a very positive spiral.
Of course it wasn’t ALL thanks to NoFap. However, abstinence from porn and masturbation was a catalyst for me. It was something I had never done before, so I knew it had a lot to do with all the positive things happening in my life.
Completion of 90 Days of Nofap
Part of completing this challenge was due to my mindset. I was determined to make it happen. There was no other option for me. Three months sounds pretty long, but it is definitely doable.
I remember the times that I wanted to start “eating healthy” or go on a diet (before I went vegan). Usually I would last about a week on a diet, because in the weekends I binged super hard on junk foods. The same could happen with NoFap, relapsing super hard on the weekends.
Luckily I didn’t do that.
I made it to 90 days on my first try. I was proud of myself. I made a video to celebrate it. A little proof of what NoFap did with my creativity levels.
Hahaha. Yeah, all thanks to NoFap I suddenly took on acting too. But in all seriousness, it was an amazing feeling to achieve 90 days of abstaining from masturbation and porn. This feeling led me to keep on going. I was not going to celebrate it with a fap session, duh.
I continued until I had to reset my counter. I didn’t see it as a relapse, because I did it one time. I didn’t binge. Yeah, my longest streak so far is 8 months!
Was it hard for me as a girl?
Looking back at the whole journey, not really. You might think this is because I am a girl, because I wasn’t addicted in the first place or blablabla. No, it is not because of that.
I think I am a pretty strong minded person. I have a lot of patience and am able to endure pain/suffering or hard times fairly well. Also the major positive benefits I was experiencing along with my new healthy habits helped me keep going.
When I experienced my first urge I dealt with it in a good way. Feeling the urge was interesting, because I have never been so aware of my sexual urge before I began NoFap. I tried being mindful whenever an urge arose. I didn’t give it attention and didn’t let it control me.
I reminded myself that I had a goal to accomplish of abstaining for 90 days. In reality 90 days is nothing compared to the rest of your life. I also kept telling myself that I didn’t want to waste my energy masturbating, to get rewarded with feel good chemicals that I didn’t really deserved by just masturbating.
Is masturbating to get an orgasm a real accomplishment? Is there any hard work involved? Or is it something you can easily do by yourself without any effort, in your comfort zone? Just putting your hands down your pants to feel a little at ease? What am I achieving here? Yeah, I asked myself these questions.
Even when I felt at my lowest during my NoFap journey, when I was going through a flatline period straight out of hell, I managed to distract myself. I managed to not listen to my thoughts and keep myself from taking the easy way out. This is what made me a stronger person. This is what increased my willpower.
If you already see NoFap as something that is tough, you will feel dreadful even thinking of starting the challenge. Look at it as something you want to experience for yourself. Look at it in a positive way, as something you can learn from. It will make starting the NoFap challenge a lot easier.
The benefits I experienced:
- Increase of willpower
- Increase of motivation
- Increase of confidence
- Increase of energy
- Clearer skin, especially clearing the acne around my jaw and chin
- I enjoy the little things a lot more (the sun shining, walks, music, smell of flowers, jokes etc..)
- I became more social (not dreadful of speaking to strangers or hanging out with people)
- I feel less awkward (I could not formulate normal sentences to waiters for example)
- I feel more feminine
- The urge of wanting to improve myself
- I became a better listener
- My genital area looks more “normal” and softer, instead of “puffy”
- I became more in tune with my intuition
- Increase of creativity
- I appreciate males and masculinity a lot more
- I became a more attractive person
- I learned how to be more present/in the moment
- Questioning my sexuality. I felt like I was becoming asexual at times
- The flatline phase
- I felt more aware of my urges which made it hard to deal with at times
To wrap all of this up I want to say that..
Girls do indeed masturbate. Probably not all of them, but they do. It is just not very “lady like” for them to talk about it. Maybe shame or guilt surround them what makes it is harder to admit. Men can also be very perverted about it. So mature conversations don’t really happen. I do agree that women and also men should not openly talk about private matters like these. But when people are troubled and struggling to live a happy life, because they are being consumed by unnatural behaviors it is worth to speak up about it and set your feelings aside for the bigger picture.
In the end it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks. This is something you should want to try out for yourself. Be your own judge through your own experience. If someone says that abstaining from masturbation and pornography is ridiculous, then let them. Don’t worry about it. They probably haven’t tried it out for themselves yet. Many bitter little people don’t wish any success upon others. Just know that your experience weighs more than someone parroting someone else’s words.
I went into this with so little knowledge and without much judgement. This made me have no expectations. I never thought or hoped that it would change my life for the better. I wasn’t heavily addicted either. I used masturbation and porn as a form of escapism. Still going porn, masturbation and orgasm fee has impacted my life so positively in ways than I could’ve ever imagined.
Not only has it impacted my life in a positive way, but also the lives of so many people around the world. The internet is full of people sharing their experience with abstaining from porn and masturbation and how beneficial it was.
I became a happier person with more passion and motivation in life. I learnt circulate and use my regained sexual energy in ways that result in long lasting benefits. The healthy habits I created along the way helped me keep going. After experiencing life without habitually masturbating and watching porn I didn’t want to go back to my old ways.
I would never known if I hadn’t tried this for myself.
Think about it, 90 days is nothing compared to the rest of your life. So why not give it a go?
Photo by Steinar Engeland
Another female NoFap transformation video from Yana Banana:
If you are interested in more NoFap content head out to my YouTube channel. Thank you very much for reading.